About Me

Hi, I’m Eric 👋

It can feel scary, at first, turning your attention inwards, after so many years of casting it out. Only because it’s unfamiliar. It feels right and validating when you get to experience new sensations. When it feels like the Source is pouring it on, only because you asked for it.

For a guy who grew up comforted by the TV remote in his hand, surrendering has not been the most obvious transition. We must do as we are called. Welcome, brave warrior!

You’ve come to the right place. 🙂

I was born happy. Who isn’t? Always smiling, low stress, my mom called me an angel. Years later, I realize that label spoke truer than I knew as a child.

My brother and I brightened the lives of my parents. No judgement. They were the typical Pluto in Virgo parents, who looked for near perfection from themselves (and their kids). Less than the standard brought shame, which is why my dad stuck it out into my preteen years to leave my brother and I alone with our mother. The transition was smooth enough, or so I thought.

The divorce was messy. First reactions? My brother cried thinking that his grades would be affected by the split up. (All his classmates with divorced parents struggled academically.) My mom wrote the school counselor a long letter about the divorce. I was called in to have a talk about it. I took it on the chin. Maybe a little bit too stoic, in hindsight.

A couple years later, my dad’s girlfriend woke me up one summer morning to tell me I had to attend a meeting with a psychiatrist. Keep in mind, I had no notice of this. My parents thought I needed emotional support. They were right, in hindsight.

I loved talking to someone who really listened. It truly felt like a first. But to admit I liked it meant, to my ego, admitting defeat. And my ego won out. Story of my teens. It can leave you isolated.

I said no to continuing with Dr. Schwartz after two sessions. It was all he needed to deem me sane and mentally healthy. I had the option of continuing and chose not to. Oh, the butterfly effect. How beneficial the alternative would have been, we’ll never know. He was a good doctor. I felt safe to confide in him. Subconsciously, I made it my mission to be the same safe space for the people I love.

The Creator still wanted me to have so much. (As it does for us all right now.) Grades 9 through 12 were spent in a Jesuit, all-boys, Catholic school. It was my choice. My grade 8 teacher stopped me in the hallway one day to plant this seed, thinking private school would be good for me. All boys meant I had an excuse not to talk to girls until after high school. (How unfortunate, in hindsight.)

The Creator wanted more for me than I wanted for myself, and up until recently, that’s been the story of my life. I’m in the 2^nd inning now. The 1^st was spent playing sports, board games, chess, poker, doing theatre, doing well in school, and studying trivia. Yes, that’s right. Studying trivia. I was the captain of our Reach for the Top team.

I met a 12^th grade student while rehearsing for the plays in 9^th grade. He grew to be an important mentor for me, and shaped my high school years without knowing it. Conveniently, he lived a block away from me. He would drive me home, saving me 90-minute bus rides after rehearsals. It was only when my 9^th grade classmate told me he was paying for this same treatment did I realize how generous he was. I would sit there after school, waiting for rehearsals to start, seeing him interact with all his 12^th grade friends. They graciously welcomed me, intuitively knowing I was happy as a clam, just observing.

Even though, early on, I made the choice to be content to go girlfriend-less through high school, the Creator wanted to spoil me. He sent Niku, who played Reach for the Team at a rival school. She was my age, and as my luck would have it, one of my neighbours! This girl was beautiful. Her parents, of Indian and Persian descent, were of the Ba’hai faith. It was almost overwhelming for me, how culturally different she was, but we got along great. She was so gentle, and patient. There were so many opportunities for me to make a move. But reader, forgive me. I made the choice to stay in my ‘comfort zone’.

University came calling, and there she was again! Niku would find me in the science lab, watching episodes of Jimmy Kimmel Live on my laptop from the night before. I was so oblivious to the romantic opportunities the Creator had in store for me. Only recently, 15 years later, did I realize how spoiled I was. That’s what living in my head deprived me of.

Living from the heart is my next chapter. It’s taken some exercise. Literally. I’m doing heart-opening exercises on a weekly basis, having enrolled in Reiki 1 and 2 classes. Meditation is now my spiritual hygiene, wanting to bless people with good vibes only after I’ve taken time to “overcome myself,” as Dr. Joe Dispenza would say. What a life-changer, he is. His free talks and interviews can be found by the dozen on YouTube.

In 2020, the year of my Saturn Return, I quit gambling, I started feeding my grandma at the nursing home, I tutored math, and met students who would force me to revisit traumatized timelines in my own life. My heart opened. “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.” In other words, with great power comes great responsibility. These were the last words of an old best friend of mine, who brought me so lovingly to this stage of what a heart-based existence could look like. “Attack the day with love,” she said. “It’s where we come from.”

That same year, a man saved my brother’s life. My brother had been battling serious chronic illness and pain all over his body. He fought this battle valiantly, and silently. He saw doctors, tried weed for the first time, and joined healing communities. What worked out even better for him was finding this interview, which changed his life:

He told me about it less than a week later. He was grateful. On an intuitive hunch, I was inspired earlier that year not to buy an individual YouTube Premium membership, but a family one, one that I could gift to five friends or family members. It was my unique idea of a thank you note, for those who had supported me along the way. The return on investment was priceless.

After borrowing a juicer from his girlfriend’s friend, I met my brother at the local park for a walk. He was in an unusually good mood. It was noticeable, and rubbing off on me. He was eager to share what he had learned. “I’ve been looking up ways to heal on YouTube and found an interview with Lewis Howes and a medical medium,” he said to me on our walk. This was my cup of tea. He went on, “Novak Djokovic and his wife have all his books. They call them ‘their bibles’.” I was in. His energy gave me a case of “I’ll have what he’s having.”

A week later, I brought my Cameroonian roommate to Wal-Mart and bought my first juicer. It was his enthusiasm that got me making this unconventional choice. Keep in mind, I hadn’t seen my brother like that in years. Years of battling (and hiding) chronic pain hardened him to the point of being unable to access a childlike, playful side. With this, what he calls, ‘liquid gold’, he had hope again. Buyer beware, you better have free and clear access to a bathroom (all day) when first trying it out on an empty stomach. It is cleansing.

Part of me cleansing includes my ego. The ego isn’t bad, it’s just not natural to the divine. And that’s what we are: conscious, immortal, multi-dimensional beings. In 2021, seeking like-minded souls, I jumped into chat rooms on Twitter, called Spaces, first as a listener, then as a speaker. I’ll never forget how one of the group members first welcomed me: “[Eric], where have you been!?”

That summer, I had started really seeking the truth about who I am. I delved heavily into astrology, numerology, and the world around me. I started only following positive and uplifting social media accounts, detaching from the people whom I had connected with growing up. I lost friends, and gained new ones, gradually becoming more and more comfortable with my own company. I refer to of my Gene Keys when I feel lonely: “Your health depends upon your love of being alone. If you feel lonely, you are somehow missing a beautiful opportunity. Aloneness is your chance to dive deep into your soul and come up with something beautiful to share with others.”

Now, when I meet the right people, I tell them my life is like a fairytale. My hope is that this blog brings you to that point within your own life.